Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #100

#100  End of the Year Party!

Let's Party!!  Deviled Eggs for everybody!  And who's up for some infertility games??  We have  Pin the Sperm on the Ovary  and Sorry Life.  That's right!  Your two favorite classic board games have combined to ruin your day in a hilarious way!


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So...this is it!  I did it!  And you read it!  What were you thinking?!    

Who would ever believe anyone would have so much to say about infertility?  Not me.

I thought a lot about what to say on this last post.

Should I talk about what my husband calls my "obsession" with taking a good family picture? 

"Obsession" is such a bad word.

Just because I need everything to look perfect for one second in time every two years when there is a picture take of us that is not done as a couples selfie?

Just because I meticulously research clothing color combinations and make my husband try on 10 different shirts to see which one matches better with what I wear?

Just because I tear up when I get a giant "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" style zit on picture day and Windex didn't work on it it didn't get edited out?

Just because I sat and stewed when we got our pictures back, and refused to smile WHILE SINGING IN THE CHRISTMAS CONCERT because I hated the way I looked in each and every picture?

Should we have taken pictures when it was lighter out, it was a half hour before sundown - maybe that's why I look so tired? Maybe I should have done my hair myself?  Or maybe I should have eaten less or taken less fertility medication? I should definitely worn less eye make up and no lipstick!  Where did I get the idea that make up would look good on me?  Do I always look like that?

Should I have worn the same colors I wore last time?  I liked how those turned out.  Didn't I?

Why can't everything just go right for one second in time for us!!?  Just one second for a happy memory captured on film?

Well, anyway, I think "Obsessed" is a bit harsh.  Don't you?




Should I talk about how I walked out of the chapel at church on Sunday and directly into a group of, I kid you not, 10 women holding babies, standing in a half circle around the doors exiting the chapel? 

I felt my uterus skip a beat (thanks for that one Monica Geller Hyphen Bing).

Some of them I had never even seen before, brought in no doubt, to make me feel bad about being barren.  How did they know?!

Some sort of intervention for my uncooperative baby makin' parts, no doubt!

It was like a a slow motion battle as I tried to free myself from the ring of fire.  The delicious smell of baby powder and spit up assaulted my nostrils as I was pummeled with fuzzy, soft blankets.  The sound of binkies being sucked on was deafening. It was wonderful and horrible all at once.  I barely escaped with my uterus.



I know!  Maybe I should talk about life.  How great it is!

I think Life is like a roller coaster...

It can be exhilarating to climb to the top of the highest point but the real fun comes as you laugh and scream through the fast drops, plummet down the steep slopes and race through the low points that bring your stomach up into your chest.

You see, it is the balance, the difference that makes the whole ride exciting.  Don't be afraid to let go of the safety bar every once in a while and put your hands in the air.

Henry David Thoreau said, "The question not what you look at, but what you see."

And maybe I should talk about humor.


Happy Trails and Many Adventures to You Along Your Way FRIEND


*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

2 comments:

DeNae I said...

I'm sad you're done! I've loved my Tuesday laughs.

Sharee and Arthur said...

Wow, good job, Amber. That's awesome that you did 100 infertility posts. You are witty and charming and courageous. I love all your thoughts you shared with us in these posts.