Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #96

#96  What Would MPH Do?

Okay, you caught me.  I'll admit it.  I have been stalling.  At the beginning of the year when I started writing out our Adventures I had hoped that by the time I reached 100 we would be pregnant.  As you can clearly see, I am at #96 and just yesterday my "aunt Flo" stopped by for a little visit.  That means I have 4 more posts to go until the end of this little journey of postings and, well, it also means that I am asking myself, "What would MPH do?"  You know MPH?  Marjorie Pay Hinkley!  Nicest ol' gal on the block.

While I think on that one, here are a few of my favorite MPH quotes for you to ponder and enjoy!

And one more to grow on from Joyce Meyer (I don't know who she is but I like her style!)!

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #95

#95 Old Wives' Tales

There are some really silly and funny Old Wives' Tales out there about fertility and pregnancy!  I found these particular tales delightfully dumb...

The Old Wives had quite a bit to say about nutrition and baby makin'.
  • Raw eggs, hot sauce and grapefruit juice should all be added to your diet to help you make a baby. Sounds sexy right?
  • Herbal remedies are thought to be linked to fertility, including the stinging nettle, false unicorn root, raspberry leaf and a Chinese plant called dong quai. Stinging?  Unicorn? What is going on here?  Are we trying to make a baby or a Liger?

When you make whoopie, visit "Funky Town", do the horizontal mamba, knocking boots, playing poker, business time...you get the picture.
  • Never think of pointy things during intercourse.
  • Make sure the moon is full – and it's more effective if it's a full moon surrounded by a “ring of fire.”
Now that you've got the picture it is quiz time!!  PRINT the game below and see how well you can do, you can find the answer key HERE.

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #94

#94  Expecting  The Obvious Choice for Infertility Book Club

A new novel has come out about the humorous side of infertility and pregnancy.  All the reviews online make it look like a great read.

This excerpt comes from an interview given by the author. You can find it at THIS LINK.

"Under the best circumstances, the difficulties and challenges of getting pregnant can put a good relationship in peril. For Alan and Laurie, the couple at the center ofExpecting, unexpected challenges create unexpected responses. Having had two miscarriages, Laurie and Alan are unsure if they will ever be able to have a child of their own. They visit a fertility clinic where an arrogant doctor promises them a baby. Ignoring the brutish, ill-mannered physician, they go ahead with a fertility treatment. After all, they want a child. On the scheduled day, Alan rushes his sperm over to be inseminated in Laurie.
All is good and Alan and Laurie become optimistic that they will finally become parents. That's when the clinic calls to let the happy couple know that a disgruntled clinic worker switched Alan's sperm with that of Donor #296. Yes, Laurie is pregnant and the pregnancy has taken. It's just not Alan's baby. His sperm, they are told, was tracked down to a dumpster--which pretty much sums up how Alan feels about his role as father to this baby. He's been tossed out with the trash.
With her history of miscarriages, Laurie has no intention of ending this pregnancy and trying again with Alan's sperm."

Yikes! And I thought my life could be difficult sometimes!  ;)

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #93

#93  When in Doubt, Dance!

Need rain?  Rain Dance!

Need a baby?  Fertility Dance!

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #92

#92 What's Up With That?

In our town, on Halloween night, it was cold.  It was cold and pouring rain.  The kind of rain that produces yellows and oranges on the weather channel doppler radar.  Still, quite a few brave souls splashed around the neighborhood and trick-or-treated.

There were goblins and princesses, power rangers and witches, firemen, nurses, vampires and ghosts.

And then there were grown women.  Grown women trick-or-treating with their less than a year old babies AND NO OTHER CHILDREN.

Oh and it wasn't just one.  I counted 5. FIVE.

Five women with just their baby and no other children with or near them, not in a group of kids, not with an excuse they were collecting for another, older child who could actually eat candy.

Just them.
And their tiny babies.
And their terrible decision making.

That's right.  Grown, adult, women, football carrying their tiny babies under their arms (no strollers or extra blankets anywhere to be seen), umbrella in one hand and candy bucket - for who? - in their other fat hand.

Is this the new thing?  Endanger the health of your baby by dressing them up as a pumpkin and taking them out in the pouring rain so you can get free candy?

What is up with that??

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #91

#91  Oops I Did It Again

This may have been one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to me.  In my mind it even trumps the time in grade school my pants ripped on the playground exposing my undies for all to see.

One semester in college I was in a class taking a mid-term exam.  The exam was long and although  I knew the material, it seemed to take for-ev-ver to finish.  The professor had said that once we had finished we could turn in our tests and leave.  I was thankful for this because my next class was clear on the other side of the campus and I often barely made it before lecture started.

The big clock on the wall ticked off the seconds in the quiet room as everyone quietly concentrated on their exam.  I flipped to the last page silently giving thanks, answered the last few questions, grabbed my bag, turned in my test and was out the door.

Across the campus I walked, lengthening my stride excited to get to class a few minutes early and get a better seat.  Maybe one next to someone who actually cared about learning instead of talking to their neighbor.

When I got to the large lecture hall students were milling about because the doors hadn't been opened yet.  I looked for the others I normally sat with but didn't see them in the vast crowd.  Maybe they were running late?

I couldn't believe I had made it in such good time!

The doors opened and everyone jostled for position trying to get a good seat.

You must understand that this class was legendary.  The professor, a former CIA agent, was an excellent lecturer full of energy and life.  His American History class was always packed to capacity.

I found a seat midway up the risers near the center and settled in.  I wasted no time and pulled out my notebook, flipping to the crisp, clean, college ruled notepaper in the back so I could take notes.  I fiddled in my bag trying to find my favorite pen and then the lecture started.

The wrong lecture.

I looked up.

On the overhead projector were graphic depictions of sexual positions and the professor at the front of the room, a stranger to me, was lecturing on oral sex.

My face burned with embarrassment. My eyes wide with shock.  I think I even forgot to breathe because I heard someone suck in a giant breath of panicked air. Yep, it was me.

Now, just so you know I am not a prude.  Okay, maybe a little but that isn't the point.  I had been married for at least a year at this time.  I knew what sex was all about.  But sitting in room full of strangers, looking at graphic sex to the low whirl of the overhead projector fan, hearing an old woman drone on about the "ins and outs" of oral copulation, it was like sitting next to your parents during a racy bit in a TV show or movie.  I just wanted to crawl under a rock.

Psychology of Human Sexual Behavior.

It was the class just before my history class.

I hesitated for a moment or two, my mind spinning, trying to decide what to do.  Should I just stay put?  Should I make a run for it?

I grabbed my notebook and shoved it into my bag and tripped over my own hasty feet as I wound my way past other students craning their necks around me to get a better look at the pictures projected up front, to the end of the isle and up to the door at the back of the class room.

I gave the door a giant shove and Click! BANG! ECHO...ECHo...ECho...Echo....echo....


Because of the loud noise made from me shoving the push bar on the locked door everyone had turned to look at me. I turned, stunned, face feeling like the surface of the sun, wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans and made my way slowly to the front of the class room and out the door.


I rushed outside into the cool air and collapsed onto a bench feeling my cheeks with my hands making sure my face hadn't actually caught fire.  I felt so stupid!  How could I have been that early?  How long did it take me to finish the test in my previous class? I looked at my wrist but had forgotten to wear my watch.  I looked around but the halls were deserted.

I decided to just sit and wait.  I pulled out my binder and re-read last weeks lecture notes to try and calm my nerves.  It took a few minutes for my breathing returned to normal. And then I was lost in American history.

After what seemed like an hour students began to file out of the lecture hall.  I waited for it to empty COMPLETELY and then took my bag and wandered in with all of the other students.  This time I found a chair right by the front.

The History professor wasn't there yet so I took out my notebook and turned to a fresh page, fiddled in my bag for my favorite pen.  As the lecture began, I was horrified to realize that this was STILL HUMAN SEXUAL BEHAVIOR!

What the what?!?

I grabbed my things, not bothering to put them back in my backpack, and rushed for the door.  I glanced at the clock.  It was still 20 minutes until my class was set to start!

As it turns out, it was the perfect storm.

I must have gotten out of my previous class at least an hour early to catch the start of the psychology lecture.

This particular class, I found out later, always took a 5 minute "bathroom" break - eww - halfway through the hour lecture.  Which brought me in a second time.

The moral of this story is to ALWAYS WEAR A WATCH on all of your adventures.

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Monday, November 3, 2014

Monday's Matter: FHE Election (Eve) Bash

At our home, and millions of others around the globe, Monday nights are reserved for family.  A Family Home Evening (FHE) lesson, activity and treats are usually shared and enjoyed helping bring a little extra fun to the start of the week.

Opening Song: America the Beautiful

Prayer: (you should call on who ever has the most patriotic colors on)

DISCUSSION...um I mean PARTY! :  (maybe tack up some red, white and blue streamers and grab a few balloons?)

This Monday is an extra special day because it is the day before Election Day!  Time to get out those Official Voter Information Guides that you received weeks ago and have been sitting on your kitchen table or you can go to this link for the 2014 CA guide http://www.voterguide.sos.ca.gov/, you know just in case you tossed lost yours.

That's right.  I am suggesting you review your voter guides for FHE tonight.  Sit with your families and discuss the issues, discuss why you are for or against them and let each decide how they will (or would) be voting for them in tomorrow's election.

Don't think it is important? Well I implore you to THINK AGAIN.  Being an informed citizen is part of our duty and it is our privilege.  A privilege many before us died for.

Looking for some inspiration?  Take a look at this amazing website FOUNDING FATHER QUOTES

"In the midst of these pleasing ideas we should be unfaithful to ourselves if we should ever lose sight
 of the danger to our liberties if anything partial or extraneous should infect the purity of our free,
fair, virtuous, and independent elections."  John Adams, Inaguiral Address March 4, 1797  
"Let each citizen remember at the moment he is offering his vote that he is not making a present or a compliment to please an individual – or at least that he ought not so to do; but that he is executing one of the most solemn trusts in human society for which he is accountable to God and his country."
Samuel Adams [The Boston Gazette on April 16, 1781.]

Patriotic Word Search with a prize for completion or for fastest time,  Get it HERE
Treat Ideas:
Something red white and blue...like strawberries, blueberries and whipped cream!
{FHE Doesn't Have to be Perfect, It Just Has to BE!}