Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #89

#89  Top 10 Reasons NOT to be Pregnant

You may think, by reading my posts, that I am a little baby-hungry and you would be right. However, I do sometimes think there might...just might be a down side to this whole pregnancy gig.  But what's a girl to do?  Make a list, that's what!  Boom.

10. Cankles, ankle/calf amalgam due to swelling - it ain't pretty and I think the name should be changed to "trotters" as in big pig feet.
9. Not having your period for 9 months but STILL having to wear a pad...IS THIS TRUE??  Say it ain't so!
8. Sausage fingers = no wedding ring
7. ES - EE- EX...do people do that with a baby in there?
6. Barfallo Bill, Calling Huey on the Big White Telephone, Disembarking Dinner...you get the picture.
5. Having to pee ALL THE TIME, especially on the trampoline (you know who you are).
4. 9 months of worrying about what to do if you have to go numero dos while you are delivering.
3.Not losing the 30 lbs of "baby weight" once you've delivered.  One. Too. Many. Pop Tarts.
2. Stretch marks.
1. People like to touch pregnant ladies.  A lot.  If I ever get pregnant I'm registering for a taser.  No touchy touchy.

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

No comments: