Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #78

#78  “The reality of what we really are is often times found in the small snips, way down at the bottom of things.” 
― Jean Shepherd

(NOT me, but the size of the glasses is pretty accurate.  I can't find any photos of me as a kid)

It is true.  In school, I was that girl.  The girl who would shoot her hand into the air desperate to answer any question the teacher might ask.  The girl who would climb to the top of the tire tree at recess so she would have a quiet place to read classics like Ralph S. Mouse and Bunicula.  The girl who always saved the day by reminding the teacher when she forgot to assign homework.  The girl with hand-me-down clothes from my cousins.  The girl with glasses too big for her face.  The girl who once won a school wide contest to memorize the alphabet backwards.

I am glad I was that girl and not some other girl.  Oh sure, there were times I wished to be different, to look different, tried to act different but the truth of the matter is that girl made me who I am today.

I recently had a good friend off-handedly say, "I think I would rather die than not be able to have children."

And for just a moment I forgot myself, forgot what I had struggled through this life to become.  I could feel the sadness welling up behind my eyes.  But then I remembered that little girl and how she struggled to make me who I am today.  I am strong.  Stronger than heartache and disappointment.  Strong enough to see that I was not put upon this earth to waste my time being unhappy.

I think she would be proud of me.

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

No comments: