Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #80

#80  Can I Lick Your French Fry?
and Other Life Lessons

In recent weeks my hubby has embarked on some life changing eating habits.  He has cut out fast and processed foods.  He has been exercising and eating right. It is with seeming ease that he "runs the gauntlet" of delicious, greasy, food chains after a long day of teaching and doesn't even pause, eager to come home to salad and chicken.  But it wasn't always this way, friends.

You see, at the beginning of his journey, we had a lunch together that I will never forget.

We had gone to the University so he could sign his semester contracts and decided to stop for lunch on the way home.

In and Out Burger loomed heavy on the horizon, delicious smells wafting from it's open, welcoming doors.  We could eat there, we decided.  He would get a cheeseburger, single patty, thankyouverymuch, protein style.  I would get a cheeseburger and fries, since I rarely eat out.

As we settled into our shiny red seats with our plastic boxes of food.  We chatted about the upcoming school year and enjoyed our food.  I am not much of a fast food eater and was full leaving most of my fries in their basket.  I could see him eyeing them.

Soon his stolen glances at my golden fries were distracting him from the conversation.

I could see the longing in his eyes.

He gently asked if he might, perhaps, smell one of my fries.

"Just a smell, that's all I need" he assured himself.

Eyeing him warily, I reluctantly passed him a fry.

He let it linger under his nose as he drew in the salty, steamy scent.

In his eyes I recognized the lust.

"Just a lick." He said to no one in particular.

"WAIT!"  I yelled, " YOU CAN'T LICK that french fry.  It will only make you want to eat it." (I wonder what the other diners thought of us?)

"Don't be ridiculous.  I'm not going to eat it" he defended.  Giving me a look of derision as he proceeded to lick the french fry up one side and down the other.  Keeping eye contact with me the whole time.

"This is just like chastity!" I spouted.
"You can't get that close to the line!!"  I warned.
"Kissing leads to french fry licking!!!"  I pronounced

We both doubled over with laughter.  I'm sure the other diners thought we were crazy but that didn't matter to us.  As the great Walt Disney once said, "Laughter is no enemy to learning."  And everyday we are learning how to be the best "we" we can be.

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #79

#79  I Needed a Time OUT After Time Out For Women

I recently attended a weekend conference put on by publishers Deseret Books.  It is a yearly event that I look forward to.  Some of their best authors speak about topics relevant to women and mothers and they also have musicians from their label join the 2 day conference.

(All Dressed UP and ready for a great weekend of fun with some awesome friends!)

I have to say, I always find something to like about these weekends and this year was no different except for one little exception.

First, can I just say that I was privileged to hear Noelle Pikus-Pace the Olympic Silver Medalist speak?  She is an amazing athlete and her story is incredible - she got run-over by a bobsled prior to a previous Olympics and had compound fractures in her legs!

One speaker told of how she and her father, who was carrying the baby in a car seat, had to run for their lives from a skunk who was chasing them in the dark only to discover the scampering of little skunk feet was a cord she had been dragging behind her on the road.

A hilarious woman told of how she didn't get married until she was in her 40's and they called themselves "Oldly-weds."

So what's my beef you ask?


A beautiful singer talked about her struggle trying to have a 4th child (that's right FOURTH) and tearily revealed that they suffered from secondary infertility.  I didn't think much about it until a friend leaned over and expressed how glad she was that I was here to listen to this and know I'm not alone.

Pshaw!  (It's a word right?)  Pshaw I say!

Well, that really got my hackles up.  How did this beautiful woman, with three beautiful children get the nerve to complain about infertility AT ME who has never been able to be pregnant or have a child amidst 14 years of wedded bliss? How is that the same?


It is not the same. And I sat and stewed over that for the rest of the day.  That will show her!

When will I ever learn?

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #78

#78  “The reality of what we really are is often times found in the small snips, way down at the bottom of things.” 
― Jean Shepherd

(NOT me, but the size of the glasses is pretty accurate.  I can't find any photos of me as a kid)

It is true.  In school, I was that girl.  The girl who would shoot her hand into the air desperate to answer any question the teacher might ask.  The girl who would climb to the top of the tire tree at recess so she would have a quiet place to read classics like Ralph S. Mouse and Bunicula.  The girl who always saved the day by reminding the teacher when she forgot to assign homework.  The girl with hand-me-down clothes from my cousins.  The girl with glasses too big for her face.  The girl who once won a school wide contest to memorize the alphabet backwards.

I am glad I was that girl and not some other girl.  Oh sure, there were times I wished to be different, to look different, tried to act different but the truth of the matter is that girl made me who I am today.

I recently had a good friend off-handedly say, "I think I would rather die than not be able to have children."

And for just a moment I forgot myself, forgot what I had struggled through this life to become.  I could feel the sadness welling up behind my eyes.  But then I remembered that little girl and how she struggled to make me who I am today.  I am strong.  Stronger than heartache and disappointment.  Strong enough to see that I was not put upon this earth to waste my time being unhappy.

I think she would be proud of me.

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #77

#77 Boxers or Briefs?

There is so much out there for "fixing" female fertility issues that I thought it might be funny, I mean FUN to share some tips and tricks from the good, ol' internet on treating male infertility issues.  Hold onto your undies men, this first one's a doozy!

1.  Ice, Ice, Baby!  Many fertility sites recommend that men ICE their groin area 10-15 minutes a day via an ice pack or sitting in water with ice in it.  That should really get 'cha in the mood, right gentlemen?

2.  Were' Going to Pump (claps hands) You Up! We all know that exercise reduces stress but did you know that pumping weights can increase testosterone levels which can have a positive effect on sperm count?

"Okay, enough talk. Now is the time to go for the pump. Hans, will show you the proper way to lift the veight. Now, pay attention..Now, you might ask yourself, "Hans & Franz, where do you go once you pump the muscle?" Well, if you're not a crybaby, you enter yourself into the Mr. Universe competition."

3. Insert A Quaver In WordInsert Beamed Semi Quavers In Word  I Just Called, to say....You have low sperm motility Insert Beamed Semi Quavers In Word Insert Beamed Quavers In Word
Recent studies have shown that keeping cell phones or laptop computers near your nuts and bolts can have a tremendously negative effect on sperm count and motility.  Have you seen Stevie Wonder's cell phone?  Neither has he and he has 7 kids.

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #76

#76  Infertility In the News

(Robert Mathis and his twin boys)

ABC News Ran the following Story on May 20, 2014

One of the NFL’s leading defenders, Robert Mathis, is defending himself following a performance-enhancing drug controversy.
The six-time Pro Bowl member – and Super Bowl champion with the Colts – was suspended for four games, costing him $705,000, for testing positive for the fertility drug Clomid. Clomid is banned by the NFL because it can be used to help improve a player’s performance.
Hadley Englehard, Mathis’s agent, says Mathis was taking clomid for fertility purposes.
“Robert is not a cheater. There is not one bit of evidence that Robert used this for anything but fertility,” Englehard said.
Mathis and his wife already have twin boys and a daughter, but they wanted to give Mathis’ ailing mother – diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer – a fourth grandchild. Mathis’ wife is now pregnant.
Dr. Steven Morganstern, the Atlanta doctor who treated Mathis for infertility, told ABC News that he didn't realize Mathis was an NFL player when he prescribed Clomid. Morganstern is proud that the couple was able to conceive.
"Robert was using it, he had an increased sperm count, his wife got pregnant and he was off it," Morganstern said.
Mathis has said that he specifically asked the doctor if the medication would present a problem for NFL drug testing, but Morganstern denies that he gave Mathis any such assurance.
“That would not be something I would know,” Morganstern told ABC News.
But Morganstern believes the differing accounts are not important.
"He is an upstanding man," Morganstern said. "The whole situation was honorable."
The NFL says Mathis should have checked with the league or the player’s union before beginning the treatment.
"A cornerstone of the program is that a player is responsible for what is in his body," the NFL said in a statement. "Consistent application of the policy's procedures is critical to the integrity of the program."
ABC News Medical Contributor Dr. Jennifer Ashton said Clomid is often used by men who have low sperm count, but that it could help a player on the field.
“It has been used to enhance athletic performance because it can raise testosterone levels,” she said.
ABC News Chief Legal Affairs Anchor Dan Abrams said the NFL had no choice in the matter.
“They had to draw a firm line – if you take a banned substance without clearing it with us, and you get caught, then you’re going to get punished even if you took it for some other reason than enhancing your athletic performance,” Abrams said.
After the NFL announced its decision, Mathis took responsibility in a statement online.
“I am deeply saddened that this situation will prevent me from contributing to my team for four games, and I regret that I didn't cross check what my doctor told me before I took the medication,” Mathis wrote. “I hope that my fans will understand the unique circumstances involved here and continue to know that I am a man of integrity who would never intentionally circumvent the performance enhancing substance policy agreed to by the NFL and my union.”
Colts head coach Chuck Pagano is standing behind his player.
“He’s a horseshoe guy. He’s a pillar guy. We’ve got his back,” Pagano said.
Way to take one for the team Robert!  Football comes and goes but family is forever!

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #75

#75 Insert Beamed Semi Quavers In Word Insert Beamed Quavers In Word Insert A Quaver In Word The Holly Green, The Ivy Green, The Most In-fer-tile Peo-ple You've Ever Seen Insert A Quaver In Word Insert Beamed Quavers In Word Insert Beamed Semi Quavers In Word

Since there are only 15 more Saturdays until Christmas I thought I would get a head start on spreading the Christmas Cheer!

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Monday, September 8, 2014

Monday's Matter: Feast on Fasting FHE

At our home, and millions of others around the globe, Monday nights are reserved for family.  Isn't it wonderful that in all the hustle and bustle you can reserve Monday nights for Family Home Evening (FHE)?

When your friends say, "Hey!  Let's go hang out Monday night"  you can reply that you have a long standing date with your family that night and maybe even invite said friend to join y'all.  Wonderful!

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we set aside one Sunday a month for fasting and prayer.  During this time we voluntarily go without food and water for 2 consecutive meals while prayerfully seeking guidance and direction and we also give a "Fast Offering" that goes directly to help the needy in our congregation and community.  To learn more about the church's world wide humanitarian efforts please click HERE.

Since September brings us the opportunity to have TWO fast Sundays (due to the upcoming October General Conference on the first Sunday in October, we fast the first Sunday in September for September and then the last Sunday in September for October) I thought an FHE lesson on fasting would be perfect!

Opening (Silly) Song:  The Rainbow Connection*   CLICK HERE for sheet music/lyrics

* bonus points if you can sing like Kermit the Frog

Opening Prayer:  Not it!! ;)

    "It is not a burden to refrain from two meals a month and give the value thereof to assist in caring for the poor. It is, rather, a blessing. Not only will physical benefits flow from the observance of this principle, but spiritual values also. Our program of the fast day and the fast offering is so simple and so beautiful that I cannot understand why people everywhere do not take it up. Hearings have recently been held in the Congress of the United States on a proposal to recommend to the president a day of fasting to raise funds for the starving people of Africa. Our own experience last spring was so easy of execution and so tremendously productive that our consecrations have blessed thousands without causing any of us to suffer in the least."  President Gordon B. Hinckley Oct. 1985

WATCH and Discuss:  Mormon Messages "Wherefore Have We Fasted"

This movie is a hilarious way to talk about the subject of Fasting and Prayer.  The hairstyles alone are enough to get me chuckling but the MUSIC is the BEST!  Most importantly, it has a GREAT MESSAGE.

Download and Print these lesson strips to facilitate a discussion about Fasting and Prayer.

     "Out of a sense of love for the less fortunate among our own, let us observe the law of the fast, going without a little food - which we do not need - and contributing the value thereof and even more to help those who are in desperate circumstances."  President Gordon B. Hinckley April 1989

Closing Song:  Sweet Hour of Prayer  click HERE for sheet music/lyrics

Closing Prayer:  It!

Activity:  Cream Pie Fight!

(BTW this is NOT us but an awesome picture from this blog about being like-able)

Eek out the last vestiges of summer light and have a cream pie fight.  Use inexpensive tin pie plates, fill with whipped cream.  Line them up.  Line up the family.  Shout "GO!" and everyone can make a mad dash for the cream pies and each other.  What a fun FHE memory!

{ FHE doesn't have to be Perfect, it just has to BE}

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #74

#74 No You Di-n't Eat That AVOCADO AT ME!

On Sunday, at church, my beautiful friend Kelsy spoke about forgiveness and more specifically about not being offended.  She stated, most eloquently, that no one can offend you.  Offense is a choice.  She read the funniest blog post about being offended from Momastery.

"I remember sitting in the food court of the mall one afternoon when my three kids were very young. I was cutting cardboard pizza and life-threatening “chicken” into itty bitty pieces, wiping up a million sugary spills, sweating, sweating, sweating, trying to figure out if I could be arrested for leaving my kids’ side for one hot second to refill my coke, praying no one would have to pee because: THREE KIDS WHO LICK EVERYTHING IN A PUBLIC RESTROOM and just, well, UGH.
Out of the blue this women sat down at the table next to me with her quiet child.  The child wore a matching top and pants. With a matching bow in her braid. In her BRAID. Someone had BRAIDED this child.  While I stared and looked back at my ragamuffin children who sort of looked like nobody loved them – the woman pulled out a high chair cover. To protect her child from GERMS, I think. And then. And THEN. She pulled an avocado out of her bag. An avocado AND A SPOON. This woman had packed a spoon. And she used that spoon to start feeding her well-groomed child food that came from a TREE. Or the ground? I don’t know – where do avocados come from? I don’t know but I’m pretty sure it’s not from the food court.
And this SHOW made my face start burning. I felt as if this woman had materialized for the sole reason of making me look bad. I am telling you that I decided right then and there that this mother was feeding her child avocados AT ME. And that also she had matched her child’s clothes that morning AT ME. And also that she had likely disciplined her child effectively for years AT ME. And that as icing on her (likely homemade and gluten-free) cake she was enjoying a lovely, peaceful, well-planned, healthy lunch AT ME. I felt judged. I felt like her approach to parenting was maybe developed solely to shine a big old spotlight on my “not good enough” parenting.  She was parenting AT ME, I tell you!
For years I lived in world in which people lived AT ME. For example:
Craig worked out AT ME while I tried to enjoy the couch. So aggressive.
People discussed natural child birth AT ME because they could sense my previous sixty epidurals.
People attempted ATTACHMENT PARENTING AT ME. ( I still don’t know what that really is but it certainly doesn’t sound like something behind which I’d rally.)
People threw Pinterest parties AT ME.
People trained for triathalons AT ME.
People refused to eat carbs after 8 pm AT ME.
I was constantly under attack with all of these judgy people living AT ME.  I was living in a hostile world.
But after spending the last five years reading thousands of letters from mamas and the last year on the road hearing stories from every different “type” of mama -  I live in a different world. I believe differently now. I know that nobody’s parenting at me and nobody’s living at me. Feeling judged by other people’s decisions is an insanely ego-centric way to live. Like my dad always says, “Glennon, nobody is thinking about you as much as you think they are.” Everybody’s just doing the best she can, mostly.
Other mamas are just weaving together families using what the unique gifts and challenges and interests they have. Just like I am. They are much too joyful and scared and fulfilled and empty and tired and inspired and busy living their brutiful lives to concern themselves too much with what I’m doing.
I mean, after five years – I’m ready to consider the possibility that avocado lady might not have even known I was going to be in the food court that day. It’s not likely – but it’s a possibility.
What we seek we will find and if we’re looking for a world full of judgmental mamas –  we’ll find it. Parenting is the most important thing to many of us and so it’s the place we’re most vulnerable. But even when we’re scared  - we can still choose. We can choose to see each other as competition or as fellow warriors – fighting the same fight on the same team. One goal – many paths. We can learn from each other. We can even ENJOY each other"

I loved this post because sometimes I feel the stupidity of my own offendedness slap me across the face.  I have been guilty of looking at others with their bags of snacks for kids at church and their cute pregnancy outfits and their cupcake and bow filled baby showers and being offended that they would "bring that", "be that", "invite me to that" and in all my self-righteous anger, even though I can see the silliness of it all, I still find the fire to be offended.  But that is just a mask, what I really am is hurt and discouraged.  Hurt, discouraged and worried that everyone is looking AT ME and judging me and finding me wanting because I find myself missing the mark.  But, hey, at least I don't get upset about AVOCADOS right?  

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #73

#73  We Made Some New Friends!

A while ago we made some new friends, they were a little younger than us BUT they didn't yet have children. After meeting them we talked about all the fun stuff we could do together.  Movies and dinners and putt putt golf.  Board games!! - It was glorious to imagine!  I was so excited, my face hurt from smiling so much.

The next time we saw them they looked so happy to see us and they couldn't wait to share their exciting news!  They were pregnant yay.  Ahem.  I mean, YAY!

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

Adventures in Infertility #72

#72  When Boy Scout Hike's Attack!

 Sorry, I have been preoccupied and felt like writing and sharing nothing and everything all at once.

Have you ever gotten a phone call that changed your life?  A phone call that made you struggle for breath, made your knees buckle and your heart lurch in your chest?

A few weeks ago I received just such a phone call.  My dear Aussie had been away 5 days on a Boy Scout 50 mile hike.  Somehow I had kept myself busy for 5 days trying not to worry about him and the rest of the crew.  I tend to be a bit of worrier but I have been working hard the last few years on letting go and learning to find joy in the journey.  I get lots of practice because he is always off on some hike or scout activity, unable to be reached at least a few times a month.

I feel like I should separate this day into BC "before call" and AC "after call".  BC I was home from work, feeling a little under the weather and napping drooling like sleeping beauty on the couch.  In fact I was still in the clothes I had put on to go to work in the morning. (Sidebar: I wear scrubs to work.  They feel like pajamas and I hate them.  When I get home I usually change into something more appropriate like jeans and pearls but on this fateful day we had no Dr's in the office so I had put on a skirt and sequined top).

I was awaken around noon by the shrill trill of the telephone.  I struggled to get off the couch and answer it and to sound like I hadn't been sleeping.  It was my father.  He told me he needed me to make a decision. My husband was sick and they had hiked out almost 20 miles to get to a pack station to get him help.  He had hiked out on his own but now Search and Rescue was there and wanted to take him by ambulance to the nearest hospital.  The Aussie does not have medical insurance through his job and by a simple twist of fate we make just the right amount to disqualify him for any Obamacare discounts but still too little to buy insurance and still put food on our table.  My father thought he was improving and the decision was made to drive him to the hospital and forgo the ambulance.  After I hung up I tore around the house trying to find shoes and my purse and keys, knowing I had an hour long drive to get to the mountain hospital.

A minute later the phone rang again.  It was search and rescue this time.  They said they had my husband and were taking him to the hospital and I needed to meet them there as soon as I could.  They hung up promptly and I called our bishop and put out a facebook request for everyone to pray for my husband.  I was just about out the door when the phone rang again.  It was search and rescue.  They said my husband wanted to talk to me.

It was a bad connection and he sounded weak but I did clearly hear him say he loved me before the phone disconnected.

At this point I had no idea what was wrong with him, but the way search and rescue spoke it left me with a feeling of impending doom.  I went to my room and knelt down asking Heavenly Father to protect him and to help me get to him in time.  A friend came and took our dog home with her.  Another friend drove me to the hospital.

The whole time we drove I just kept picturing his smiling face in my mind, like a flip book of our life.  All those precious moments that made him smile..our first date to a soccer game, bowling, our wedding day, on the beach in Miami, sledding together, college graduation, singing on stage with the symphony, his smiles went on and on, mile after mile.  I tried not to think about if he didn't make it but it was hard to keep those thoughts from edging their way in.  I tried to be faithful and not cry.  I tried to believe that he would be okay when we got there.  I often had to bow my head and offer a silent, tearful plea to an all-knowing Heavenly Father for help.

There had never been a time in our life together that I thought I might lose him.  In fact I had never really contemplated life without him.

We made it to the hospital ahead of the ambulance and when I saw it arrive I ran to the back, like in the movies, as they were pulling him out.  He looked tired but was smiling, always smiling.  I breathed for the first time in an hour.  They took him to the ER and I had to wait in the waiting room to see him.  FINALLY, they had finished assessing him and let me go back.

The ER doctor said he had rhabdomlyosis, something they saw often at this hospital from hikers and high Sierra fire fighters. He had gotten altitude sickness and couldn't keep down food or water.  She said he was so dehydrated his organs were shutting down and he was being moved to the ICU for observation.  They were afraid of kidney failure from the rhabdo.  He was still smiling as they hooked up his IV and carted him away to the third floor ICU.  I followed behind, watching him go.

The first night in the ICU was long and lonely.  They had him in a private room and the nurses took special care to keep him comfortable.  He was in good spirits but was exhausted and slept.  I sat on my cot in the corner, by the toilet, still in my skirt and sequin top and watched his monitors.  Heart rate, oxygen level, pulse, respiratory rate...the lines of proof that meant he was alive.  With every beep and every breath I said a prayer of thanks.

Sometime during the night I dozed off only be awakened by screaming monitors and bustling nurses.  It turned out that the leads for his heart monitor were not functioning properly.  He smiled in his sleep.

By the next day, after umpteenth lab draws that showed good improvement, an abdominal ultrasound, a CT scan of his organs and an EKG that all came back normal they downgraded him to a regular floor, a regular room, a regular bed for another night of observation.

By this time the rest of the scouts had finished the hike and had come by the hospital to see the Aussie, as well as some other friends and family members.

This room had no room for a cot so I reluctantly left him to stay with my cousin in the next little town over.  The 15 minute drive seemed like it was hours and I lay awake the entire night, in my room, wondering if he needed me, hoping he was sleeping.

The next morning, after proving to the Dr. that he could walk on his own (leaping from the bed and repeatedly cruising by the nurses station while waving at the doctor), taking a shower for the first time since he left on the 50 mile hike days ago and putting on regular clothes and one final check of labs, he was released with strict instructions to take it easy and follow up in a few days with his pcp and repeat labs in 1 week to make sure all levels had returned to normal.  His smile was like balm of Gilead to my worry weary soul.

I can't tell you how grateful I am, we are, for all of the well wishes, the phone calls, the visits and the heartfelt prayers offered on the Aussie's behalf.  We are thankful for bishoprics and relief society presidencies who took minutes out of their busy schedules to connect with us and give words of encouragement, and bring food.  I am so thankful for the young men who came on the Sunday he was released from the hospital to kneel in our living room and utter the words of the sacramental prayers and offer us the bread and water that we might be able to renew our covenants.  Never have we had the opportunity to be served by so many and it has meant so much.  So thank you, again.

You will be happy to know that the Aussie is making a "miraculous" recovery and has astounded doctor's by his body's ability to heal.

We had some good laughs as he tried to walk around the grocery store, me verbally encouraging him, while wearing my scrubs, as he shuffled along at a snails pace and when I had to drive him to sign the semester contracts at the University.

 He started the semester with purpose in his stride and, as always, a smile on his handsome face.  His attitude has been one of praise and thanksgiving to his Heavenly Father, ever grateful for the blessing that have come his way.  He has been an amazing example to me of steadfast faith and determination.  And although this is one "Adventure" I wish we could have avoided we would be hard pressed to turn away the outpouring of love and blessings that have come from this situation.

It has brought home the realization that the joy in this life comes from the journey we take together, hand in hand, step by step, making our way and if and when we part may we have the memories to keep us going and the smiles to remember and bring hope to our hearts.  I have always been grateful to be sealed to my husband in the Temple of the Lord for time and all eternity and it is times like these that have made that promise's meaning fill my heart with joy.

It reminds me of a song from Laura Story called Blessings.  It goes a little something like this...

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!