Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #59

#59 Let it Go!

Confession time.

Don't worry...it's not weird.  It's not like I have a pillowcase full of hair and nail clippings in my closet or I collect Garbage Pale Kid Cards or I buy clothes from the maternity section of Target stores (oh wait, that last one is true). ;)

For the last, um, probably 13 years I have had a newborn no I have not been hiding a baby onesie set and the book What to Expect When You're Expecting tucked away in my underwear drawer.  There has been a time or two over the years when I just couldn't resist and purchased an adorable little outfit for our future baby.  When we first were married and were trying to have a baby a friend of mine gave me a copy of What to Expect When You're Expecting.  She said it would give me something to read while I was pregnant and it would help the 9 months pass quickly.  I must have read that book 100 times.  Each moth knowing the next month I would be pregnant.

Last month I decided it was time to let it go.  I can't count how many times I have taken out that soft blue onesie and imagined what it might be like to be a mom.  To rock a sweet, soft baby to sleep on a warm summer night. In my minds eye I could imagine all the wonderful things my smarty husband could teach the little tike and all the fun and laughs we would have as a family.

I put both the onsie and the book in a paper grocery sack and headed off to the Deseret Industries trailer (think Salvation Army but church run) to donate it to someone who could actually use it.

We have donated a lot of things to D.I. over the years.  Books, furniture, clothing.  Not the least of which was my WEDDING DRESS and veil that got accidentally donated by my husband who forgot to check a mismarked box before he dropped it off.  By the time we realized it and went back there was a new trailer and my dress was gone.  But that is another story all together...

One problem.

I didn't know the combination to the lock on the trailer!

As I sat on the bumper of the trailer, I screwed up my face thinking hard trying to remember what that infernal combination was.

It was hot outside and I was all alone. Well, just me and my sad sack.

No matter how many combinations I tried I just couldn't get the right one.  It was like trying to solve a rubik's cube.

I was sweaty and sad and a little angry I may have kicked the bumper of the trailer.  Luckily another donater came to my rescue and opened the trailer. I saw them coming and stopped kicking just in time.

The look on their face was priceless as they unloaded all their good and I placed my small paper sack on the heap and walked away.

Turns out I knew the right combination all along, it was the first one I tried, I just wasn't turning the dial the right way.  Whaap-Whaa.

*Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

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