Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #37

#37 You're PMSing Pretty Bad Right Now, Aren't You?

I have had my fair share of opportunities to PMS, as well as months of fertility meds that whip up mood swings unlike anything you could have heretofore dreamed of.

Sometimes I am jealous of the stupidest things while I am PMSing.

Things like...snacks the families that bring snacks with them to church "for their kids".  In fact, when we were first married and trying to get pregnant I used to look forward to snacks the day I could bring snacks to church under the guise of "packing them for the kids". Hey, 3 hours is a long time to go without a snack. Don't judge!  You don't think I see you parents?  Oh I see you! Sneaking Goldfish Crackers and chocolate candies out of your kids backpack every few minutes, while the rest of us childless or old people sit and drool, our ears perfectly attuned to every salty, crunchy, noise? It is torture.  Rubbing salty goodness in an open, barren wound.

Even the preggos have a legitimate reason to chow down during church. I see you too, with your baggies of snacks in the pew in front of me. As if it is not enough you get to experience the miracle of growing a new life, you also get full snack privileges everywhere on the planet, no questions asked?  Never-mind that you have aches and pains and snack because of your constant nausea! Forget about the fact that you are wrestling 3 kids into reverence for hours, while hopping up to pee 30 times during the meeting. At least you get snacks!

It's true, I feel like I am starving when I am PMSing.  However, I would NEVER bring snacks of my own to church.  Not because I know people would judge me, they would not.  Although it would make me feel like a bloated, fat, cow pulling out my feed bag at church to munch on something salty sweet to quell the hormonal firestorm, my real reason for not bringing snacks is just plain old PMS crankiness and spite.  If I can't have kids then I can't have snacks.  So there.  Jokes on ME.

But maybe I can have a personalized "Sorry You're on Your Period" dessert...Honey?  Are you listening? Hello?



 How dare you!

 "Hershey Bar Lasagna"? Amazing!  

Thanks!! Now, Get Out.  ; )

 *Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

1 comment:

Laura said...

Love "The Office" reference :)