Being inexplicably infertile is kind of like being lost at sea, without a raft, in a really uncomfortable bathing suit. At some point everyone gives up, the search planes stop searching, the press stops reporting and people forget about you. Plus, it is really easy to be freaked out if you don't concentrate on just one thing...staying afloat! Just keep swimming (gotta love that Dori!)
Your best chance at survival? Forget about yourself and try and serve others, your spouse included.
I have a friend who had a baby recently. The baby was early and it seemed everyone was gathered at the hospital to check on mama and baby. The other women all had "I know just how you feel" stories for her comfort. I had none. They expertly dealt out advice and held and cuddled the little one and I just felt so utterly useless and completely inadequate.
Later, before mama and baby came home from the hospital, I decided to drop off some cinnamon rolls at the house for dad and kids and see if there was anything I could do to help get ready for their arrival. I so desperately wanted to be useful. On the drive there I tearfully asked my Heavenly Father to make me of some use. I pled with Him to let there be something I could do to contribute and to help my friend know that I love her.
**Let's just take a break here and remind ourselves of the sense of humor our Father in Heaven must have**
When I got to their house, my friend's mother had just arrived to tend to the kids and dad was on his way to the hospital for the night to stay with mom and the new baby.
I looked around for something to help with. Then I saw it. And it made me laugh out loud.
On the couch was a week's worth of laundry to be folded. Dad had washed and dried it all so the kids could have clean clothes and now there was a full sectional sofa piled high with load after load of laundry. I knew it was meant for me.
**Anyone who knows me knows how much I loath folding laundry. There are only two of us in my household and our laundry still goes from the dryer to the basket, to the bed to the floor never to be folded. I can't explain my hatred of folding laundry, it is inexplicable**
That night I folded and put away laundry for hours, until my back ached and my feet hurt and until my heart was full and my cup was overflowing with gratitude for answered prayers.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”― Mahatma Gandhi
“Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”― Martin Luther King Jr.
“The best antidote I know for worry is work. The best cure for weariness is the challenge of helping someone who is even more tired. One of the great ironies of life is this: He or she who serves almost always benefits more than he or she who is served.”― Gordon B. Hinckley, Standing for Something: 10 Neglected Virtues That Will Heal Our Hearts and Homes
*Laughter is the best medicine right? Why not laugh at my infertility?! I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!