Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #18

#18  Facing it Head On {Like a Collision}

I think that God must have a pretty good sense of humor especially when it comes to us and our fertility issues.  I feel like He must be trying to make it easier for me to accept my lot by making me face it head on.  Kind of like Kevin McCallister on Home Alone when he goes out of the house and tells the world "I'm not afraid anymore!" (Mmmm....Home Alone....Now I just want a lovely cheese pizza just for me).

Here are some of the things I have been blessed with over the years {and what they have taught me}:

For 3 years in a row I was asked to speak in Church on Mother's Day, about the importance of Motherhood. {It kept me focused on something instead of having a pity party for 1}

In one day 12 of our friends/family members/acquaintances told me they were pregnant.  12 is a lot right?
{1 or 2 might make me feel a little sad but after the 10th I just had to laugh and let myself feel the joy of the situation}

We were offered the chance to adopt a baby out of the blue and then the family decided to go with someone else. {And I believe it worked out better for that sweet boy that he isn't in the same town as the birth mom and her family told us because we said yes she was willing to consider adopting to a couple who had been waiting a long time}

I work at a job where EVERY day I get asked at least once, by strangers, if I have children and why not.
{It gives me a chance to come up with witty replies and not take myself too seriously}

We have, what the Drs like to call, "Unexplained Infertility" which means we are both healthy baby makers but for some reason we haven't made a baby.  Every Dr. has said the same thing to me.  "Maybe you just need a vacation." Ha. Ha.  {I think maybe they are right, we should take more vacations...somewhere tropical and warm!}

I have had many very close friends struggle with infertility for a year or two and it was hard to watch them be angry and sad and hopeless and hopeful and depressed.  But, eventually they all had children of their own. {It was easier for me to relate to them because we have been through more than a decade of this - and sometimes all a friend wants is someone who understands}

If I had a nickle for every baby shower I've been to, I'd have a LOT of nickles ;)  Thankfully, I have lots of friends and those friends have lots of babies.  Beautiful little miracles.  {It's good to be happy for others, just because they have something you don't, it doesn't mean you are less important}

I had the joy of having a large mass in my abdomen and doctors were unsure if it was cancer or a fibroid for months.  It made me feel pregnant.  Nausea, indigestion, heartburn, frequent urination, bulging abdomen, etc.  I got to have ultrasounds, MRIs and lots of pelvic exams as they tried to determine what it was and how best to treat it.  Once I complained about how it was making me feel and a Dr quipped "It's like being pregnant but without the baby!"  Hilarious.  Best part was one of the girls at my office was pregnant at that time and when she felt nauseous or tired she got to take a break and go put her feet up.  I got to take over for her and pull double duty. {I learned that prayer can get you through anything,  it won't get you around it but you'll get through it. The more people that prayed for me the better I felt and in the end I didn't have a baby but I did have a scar that reminds me of all those who wished me well and kept me in their thoughts and prayers for all those months.}

And even though it may not seem like it to someone looking from the outside in, I am one lucky woman.

 *Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

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