Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Adventures in Infertility #9

#9 Things NOT to Say During Your Trans-vaginal Ultrasound

As a fairly naive girl  the Trans-Vaginal Ultrasound was terrifying! And just my luck I got to have them every month for many months due to my friend the Fibroid. When I did encounter the 10 inch wand (not magical I assure you) it made me very nervous, and when I am nervous I tend to blurt things out (cue the weird story about how my cat is like your baby).  Here are some of my most embarrassing blurts.  Hopefully if you ever have to have one of these you will remember me and my craziness and it will make you keep your mouth shut laugh . :)

  • Do you have protection for that thing?
  • What?  You're not even going to buy me dinner first?
  • What is THAT!!!!???
  •  So, where did you learn to do this?
  • Does that come in black?
And whatever you do, when they tell you "I'm going to hand you the wand so you can insert it yourself" do NOT, under any circumstance say,  "Do you think I'll have to confess to my Bishop after this appointment?"

Oh, and try not to slip getting off the table and knock over a tray of instruments all the while pants-less and yelling for the Dr to stay behind the curtain in the corner because you have everything under control.

 *Laughter is the best medicine right?  Why not laugh at my infertility?!  I do not mean to offend with any of these posts, it is just a way to let go a little and see the humor in our situation. Please laugh with me!

1 comment:

Sharee and Arthur said...

Ha! I love you Amber. These are pretty funny. :)
p.s. I get the Aussie, but I'm having a hard time figuring out how you are the owl . . . It's probably something really obvious that I"m not thinking of . . .